A Cop Files Police Complaint Against His Girlfriend For Beating Him With A Justin Bieber Doll

Assault By Bieber Doll

I will take this microphone and shove it right up your butt!

You just can't make this stuff up. A police officer in Denver, Colorado named Michael Nuanes Jr., filled out a police report and had his girlfriend arrested for...wait for it...beating him with a Justin Bieber doll during a fight.

The question is, was it his doll or hers (LOL). The cop claims the doll injured his foot during the beating and "it hurt." It takes a strong man secure in his sexuality to admit something like that (okay, no it doesn't). Keep it up and the other cops are going to revoke your badge and membership card to Dunkin Donuts over these Bieber doll admissions.

Justin Bieber

Another thing - exactly what do they make those Bieber dolls with that they can injure a cop's foot. Where's "60 Minutes" when you need them for an investigation.

Side Bar: If I were a man (you know, like Madonna) and a cop, I wouldn't even admit the injury occurred via a Bieber doll beating. I'd say something macho like the bruise happened while lifting a 1,000 pound weight at the gym, during the 50th rep.

Side Bar 2: the officer deserved to be arrested for beating his girlfriend (he allegedly pulled her hair out and punched her in the ribs, among other things). If I were her, I wouldn't have beaten him with a Justin Bieber doll...I'd have beaten him with the real Justin Bieber.

STORY SOURCE

Cop: Girlfriend Attacked Me With Justin Bieber Doll

POSTED: 9:42 pm MDT March 11, 2012 - Officer Michael Nuanes, Jr., 37, said that his girlfriend hurled a Barbie-sized Justin Bieber doll at him, injuring his foot. He also accused the girlfriend of kicking him, biting his finger and choking him, according to an Adams County sheriff detective's sworn statement supporting an arrest warrant.

"Michael Nuanes stated that (his girlfriend) had thrown a 'Barbie Doll' at him, which bruised his foot and (said) that it hurt," the affidavit said. "Nuanes pointed out a 'Justin Bieber' doll, which was the item used to injure him."

The 42-year-old girlfriend accused Nuanes of pulling her hair out and punching her in the ribs, the affidavit said. The girlfriend also said that Nuanes kicked in the locked door of a bathroom where she had taken refuge and then he hit her over the head and back with part of the broken door.

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